this is your brain....on solo parenting

I have always enjoyed reading the "day in the life" posts of some of my favorite bloggers (Erin and Erin, here's looking at you two), but haven't yet composed one myself.  Over the past few days, however, I've chronicled some of the basic happenings of my days to share with Ryan when he returns from his trip to the Boundary Waters (tonight!  at 2 a.m.!). 

Ryan has jokingly remarked in the past that he learns more about my days' events from the blog than from conversation when it has been a particularly hectic week (sidenote: how sad is that?  time to slow the home).  And so my idea of jotting down the events of the day was born.  There's no cell service in the Boundary Waters, so it's a fun way to report to Ryan without having to jog my memory over the last week in one conversation.  Many of the items will be in fragmented statements, because there's just not much to say about "made popsicles" or "mowed lawn".  Also, I am not working this week or next for various reasons, and usually Tuesdays/Thursdays would be my "in office" days - all of that to say this is not a completely typical representation of our time.

Here we go!

Wednesday evening, May 12:  Technically Ryan is not yet on his trip, but he was out at youth group and then asleep before I was done with a really epically awful bedtime procedure with Blythe, so I'll mark down what we did for posterity on this evening as well. 

• made Popsicles with Blythe containing coconut water, almond milk, peaches, banana, and coconut flakes
• walked Oscar around the block together
• Blythe didn't fall asleep until after 11:00 (WHAAATTT ARE YOU DOOIINNNG, CHILD), so I missed saying goodbye to Ryan

Thursday, May 13:

• went to work in the  morning, and my mom took Blythe to a nearby playground. 
• we were home by lunchtime, and while I prepped lunch for the two of us, Blythe made me a selection of sandwiches from her play kitchen. 
• Blythe's usual routine involves watching an episode of Caillou before napping, but she didn't nap this time after the show (and yes, I am fully aware that the experts advise against screen time prior to sleep).  Her nap has seemed to be on the way out lately (see the 12th's horrible bedtime war), so I decide to drop all naps during this stretch of Ryan's absence and see how things go.
• in lieu of napping, Blythe played quietly with her "babies", and went into specific and particular detail with them about going potty: diaper vs. potty, potty chair vs. potty ring, using toilet paper....it was quite cute.  She then made "bunk beds" for them while I did some cleaning out as part of my 101 challenge.
• dinner consisted of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the patio steps while we watched the rain fall.
• bath time
• rode bikes and scooter in pajamas and piggy slippers (Blythe, not me)

Friday, May 14:

• Blythe and I took a trip to Le Quartier for croissants, as we were having a playdate with my friends with French connections (along with my friend Erin and her non-French connections):  E is a French professor with two little girls, and D is French and has three boys.  Both of them are leaving for a few weeks in France this summer.  I listened to them speak French to each other and will try to live vicariously through their stories when they return.
• Blythe ate her lunch while watching Caillou (MOM OF THE YEAR 2013!), and then had some quiet play time. 
• ran to Goodwill to drop a few things off, made a stop at the post office, and bought a few groceries
• had some fun in the evening doing tie-dye with my sister-in-law and our nephews and niece, as well as some fun in the sprinklers in their backyard
• feeling especially appreciative of some of the things Ryan does regularly around the house, including mowing, taking care of toys/sandbox cleanup in the backyard, and trash duty

Saturday, May 15:

• breakfast and books with Blythe
• Blythe made drawings and paintings for Grandpa and Papa, and Stacey and "AJ/Law"
• at Blythe's request, I painted her toenails (for the first time in her life, holla!)
• I spent some time cleaning out our office, which serves as the dumping ground for donations
• took Blythe and Oscar to my parents' house so that I could see Man of Steel with my dad, sister, and her boyfriend as an early Father's Day activity.  Thanks for watching the "kids", Mom!  On the way to my parents' house, Oscar was getting worked up and excited, and Blythe kept repeating to him "I know, I know, I  know" which then became "Jesus loves me, this I know."
• Blythe went to a new (to her) playground with Gran, and they also grabbed some ice cream from eCreamery.
• Mowed the lawn in the evening (ugh), had dinner, watched a little Caillou before bed.
• Rough night overnight - it was very hot upstairs and I woke up at least a handful of times
• spent a significant amount of my post-Blythe-bedtime evening contemplating a return to short(er) hair - what do you think?

Sunday, May 16:

• church in the morning (we were late because I wanted/needed some coffee on the way)
• home for lunch and some playtime
• Caillou 
• Blythe made a "leaf pile" (inspired by Caillou) with clothes, baby blankets, and any other assorted pillows and bedroom items she could find
• stopped over to my parents' house to meet friends there, who were looking at some furniture and other items my parents no longer need
• Bath night
• This day was probably the roughest one as far as Blythe's temperament.  She had a core meltdown on the drive home from church, screaming the entire way because she wasn't able to remove her shoes....and then later in the evening, she wanted chocolate chips and put up a great fight when I nixed that idea.
• Overnight Sunday was also a rough night as it was hot upstairs and Oscar was acting strangely - I let him out of his crate and hoped for the best

Monday: May 17:

• went to my friend Erin's house and met our other friend Rachel there - enjoyed some great banana bread (gluten-free holla!)
• straight from Erin's house to the pool with my sister and her boyfriend.  Blythe had such a fun time at the pool, and I appreciated two other people present for toddler-wrangling
• came home and had some quiet time - let Blythe watch a little movie on my Kindle
• quesadillas for dinner, bath night following the pool
• Blythe played some sort of game with her little stuffed cat and I often heard her saying "there you are silly cat" in an amused and exasperated voice

Tuesday, May 18:

• 9:15 Kindermusik class with Blythe, then back home
• Blythe played nicely while I cleaned bathrooms and vacuumed - it was a rainy morning
• addressed a few emails after general email slacking lately
• play-doh mania for Blythe, then lunch
• waaayyyy too much screen time by Blythe for my liking today, but I had a headache and had hit a solo parenting wall.  I feel bad about that, and we didn't offset it by reading very many books or something otherwise playful/stimulating. 
• I wanted to eat.  A lot.  And did.
• a bit of sandbox and book time in the evening.
• Oscar woke up at midnight overnight howling bloody murder, so I broke him out of the clink and let him sleep anywhere

Wednesday, May 19:

• babysat our friend's daughter Miriam beginning at 8:30 - the girls are close in age which is both helpful and challenging :)  They played on the playset, we went on a walk around the block, and Blythe generally acted as an insistent hostess.  "Want to drink your milk, Miriam?"  "Want my arm around you?"  "Slow down!"  It was so fun to listen in to their conversations now that they can carry on their own little banter.

• my mom stopped over to drop a few things off toward the end of Miriam's visit, and stayed long enough for me to prep some lunch for Blythe by myself.  Bless her.
• Caillou time, then some quiet play time
• fun with a new sprinkler toy in the backyard (I can't summon the energy to perfect my terminology right now), time playing in the sandbox, a hodge podge dinner
• bath time, early bedtime

We had many offers of help from people - shout-outs to both sets of parents and other family members, as well as Rachel, Erin, Lana, Natalie....it was wonderful to feel so supported while Ryan was gone.  The only problem is that I didn't really know when I would need a break, and didn't otherwise have scheduled events that required advance planning (save for the Superman movie on Saturday).  So, when Tuesday midday hit and I had a headache and already felt done for the day, it was hard for me to ask someone for help in that moment - you know?  And then by the time someone would've likely been available, I would have felt guilty or recovered, or it would have been close to bedtime anyway....or so I told myself.  Womp womp, Sarah!

But really, I am genuinely appreciative of these solo days with Blythe.  And it does get easier as she gets older.  When Ryan is gone for stretches of time, I find myself rising to the occasion more - maybe something to do with the fact that I know I won't get relief or
"alone time" at a certain point in the day, and so I just power through and make the best of it?  And we had plenty of events scattered throughout the week to get us out of the house and mix up our days. 

As they say at Momastery, I definitely did some carpe diem-ing, mixed in with all of that usual daily stuff.  There were hard moments, and things I said and did that I'm not particularly proud of, but I did my best by myself most of the time (but never really alone!) for this period of time. 

And I just treated myself by buying an obscene amount of new music from iTunes.  Carpe diem-ing my last evening!

all that you can't leave behind

old school Instagrammed Blythe

It's hard for me to believe that 10.5 months have passed since a group of friends and I embarked on our project of reduction and simplification.  It started with a 7-month project based on one of Jen Hatmaker's books, and we are now walking through a 101-day project based on this post from Becoming Minimalist.  As a result of reading and exploring this general topic of reduction/simple living/minimalism, I have found some other great resources, including Slow Your Home.  And then there are books I have already read but not fully implemented, including Simplicity Parenting and Last Child in the Woods.  I know I already wrote about this a bit in May, but I feel like it's worth revisiting, since I keep returning to these projects and this evolving mindset.

Take note of the fact that I've already read about this topic, and have yet feel like I've barely scratched the surface.  I'm a work in progress (see the blog title "all that you can't leave behind").  I'm also often too legalistic - if I'm not eating in accordance with a specific plan, I'm gorging on pizza and fries.  If I don't have the accountability of others during a project, I quit.  So these sorts of improvements come in fits and spurts for me.  Sometimes even one step forward, at least one step back (clearing out my closet and purchasing new clothes within the same week, anyone?).  Maybe I should just go easier on myself....it seems to be part of the theme of many of these blogs and books, after all :)

I have been analyzing many of the choices I make and routines I have lately, and determining which ones to alter and in what order....which is to say, which ones I can implement easily and which ones seem too daunting :)  Different aspects of the Seven project have taken hold in my life, and other improvements are a work in progress.  My Whole30 project led me to more deeply examine the foods I eat and their effect on my body, mind, and emotions.  And then there are questions about my daily rhythm (or lack thereof) and it's impact on my state of mind and my family in general.  Why do I choose to wake up at the same time as Blythe most mornings, and then bemoan my lack of alone time and stay up too late for my own good (lather, rinse, repeat)?  Why have we had an old dining set in our attic for 6 years?  Why do I sign up for online yoga classes and fail to make the time for them?

I don't know what I'm saying, other than that I'm hoping to undergo more and more changes toward living a more intentional, simple life....and that will look different (perhaps markedly) from those whose blogs and books I am currently devouring.  I'm probably also saying that you may see a few blog posts about little projects and successes around the house.  And what I may ultimately be saying is that I've been solo parenting for 6 days straight (out of 7 - Ryan comes home tomorrow) and a lack of alone time has led to these sorts of jumbled thoughts.  So, consider yourselves warned or just completely disregard this post.  Time will tell.

the birthday chronicles

Good Lord, this birthday girl had a slew of celebrations!  I'm late on recapping more than the logistics of the third birthday party, but for the sake of posterity (at least) I will recap the rest of the fun surrounding the B turning three.

 

My sister-in-law offered to take pictures of the present-opening and some other parts of the party itself, so I may even have a third post coming your way....this is starting to become a little bit excessive, when I stop to think about it - three posts about one child's birthday :)

 

Toward the end of the evening on the day of her party, Ryan and I took a few pictures with Blythe to commemorate the day.  And, as you can tell below, she was a wee bit hopped up on sugary desserts and drinks.

 

Flashing back a bit, though, we had a visit from Aunt Amy earlier in the week to deliver her present.  We invited Blythe's friends to her party who are similar in age, and I did not have my life skills together enough to schedule in a little casual family dinner to get all of the grandparents and other relatives together - luckily enough, some stopped by, and we opened gifts with others during family events that occurred within a few days of the birthday.

So, back at it.  Aunt Amy stopped over for a nice little visit, and Blythe opened a gift from Ryan's coworker at the same time.  Ryan has some incredibly generous coworkers to think of Blythe to that extent.

While opening the gift below, I asked Blythe if she had any idea what the wrapping might contain.  Her first guess:  playdoh.  Her second:  Jesus. 

On the day of Blythe's actual birthday (which technically does not occur until 11:59 p.m., thankyouverymuch), we kicked off the morning at a park playgroup.  Blythe's main attractions were swinging, and pushing (sometimes hanging onto) others on the swings.

"Come on!  Come on Miriam!  Come on!  It's ok!"

After a fun time at the playground (including a potty break near the creek into the kid's potty I :::cough cough::: ingeniously thought to bring along), we headed home and had lunch with Blythe's buddies next door.

Later came a bit of Caillou on PBS followed by nap time - which, might I add, no longer seems to exist in this house a mere two weeks later.  The nap, not Caillou.  I couldn't get rid of Caillou if my life depended on it.

Blythe wanted to go play on her swingset from the moment she woke up from her nap, and also insisted on dressing herself.  She chose her sparkly red shoes and insisted that she preferred them on the wrong feet.  Naturally.

After Ryan came home from work and started playing with Blythe in the yard, I set up a few little gifts in the living room as a surprise.  Last year we had a "no gifts party", but this year we left that part off of the invitation....and between the super fun things she received there and from relatives, we kept it very tame ourselves.  The element of surprise when she came inside to find some new gear was so fun to watch, though!

We also opened cards from far away relatives, and Blythe was PSYCHED to get her own "money" in the form of a Gap gift card....she's always angling for a way to be the go-to debit card swiper when we're at the grocery store, so having her own card will certainly be a thrill.

Later in the evening we had some long-distance and local visitors in the form of Jessie and her mom, Monica!  The birthday dinner delicacies included sushi, pizza, and cupcakes.

It wouldn't have been a proper Blythe birthday without a cameo her very favorite neighbors.

We're still detoxing from the quantity of sugar consumed during the birthday week :)

As it happened, Ryan's aunt and uncle were in town this same week, and it worked out to have a family gathering a few days later and finish up the birthday and present-opening extravaganza.

And while it feels more than a bit excessive when I compile all of these celebrations into one single post, I hope Blythe learns from these chronicles of her life how loved and celebrated she is - and how simple things like a trip to the park, a ride on a tire swing, and time with friends and family are what really make a celebration worthwhile.